I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
