Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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