The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
