I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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