Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
