I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
