I didn't shave. On purpose
Can Purell be used as lube?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
