i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
one two three fourrrrnication!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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