yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
