is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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