You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
