I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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