You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
