He uses pillows to masturbate.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
