i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
