please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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