Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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