Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
