it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
