I hope mine doesn't look like that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
