I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
