you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
