Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
