I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
