oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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