Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
