So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
