He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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