My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
