every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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