He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize