That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
