hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
