It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
