I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i dont even know how to be here
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
