When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
