I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
