I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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