im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
