i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
