just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
