Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
