those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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