He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
