WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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