fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
