ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
