I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think my vagina is haunted
I wish i was in the wii world.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize