we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
