C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize