He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
