We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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