My first STD was from a foam party
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
