And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
