if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i think my cat just said my name.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
