New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
