If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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