Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
