Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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