This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
