Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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