I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
