If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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