I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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