dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
