I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
